The Robot Man Paradox
by ACM a.k.a. Annie May
Summary: When Penny injured her shoulder, Sheldon took care of her.  Suddenly, she can't stop thinking about him.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Set right after "The Adhesive Duck Deficiency." 

The Robot-Man Paradox by ACM a.k.a. Annie May 

Chapter 1

Penny awoke to a realization: her shoulder hurt. She gingerly eased herself into a sitting position and used her good arm to turn on the light, which was really unnecessary since it was obviously early afternoon at least. Thankfully she didn't have to work today. Penny got up and headed for the kitchen to see if her fridge contained anything resembling food. She quickly realized that her only breakfast options were Diet Mountain Dew and cheese curls, so she decided to defer that meal until later. She headed off for what turned out to be a rather complicated trip to the restroom, considering her one-handed status. She was midway through brushing her teeth when she decided to go to her secondary food source, Leonard and Sheldon's. Sheldon...The events of last night were a little fuzzy, but she realized that Sheldon had been there the whole time, taken care of her, and...! She suddenly remembered! Sheldon had shown a bit of a naughty side! That was new. True, he only accidentally touched her, but a smart guy like Sheldon would have figured it out right away and let go. He didn't let go! And what was it he said..."The hero always peeks." He seemed almost human.

"Fashunating," Penny mumbled, her mouth full of toothpaste. Just then she heard the familiar sound.

Knock knock knock. "Penny."  
>Knock knock knock. "Penny."<br>Knock knock knock. "Penny."

She spit out the toothpaste and headed for the door, smiling to herself. She opened it to find Sheldon, holding a plastic bag and wearing his usual condescending stare.

"Good afternoon. Oh, I see you hardly drooled on yourself at all during the night," he said, pointing, as though this were a socially acceptable greeting.

Penny looked down at her shirt in disgust. She felt the familiar talking-to-Sheldon headache coming on.

"Sheldon..."

"I trust you haven't caused yourself another devastating yet easily avoidable injury today?"

Penny gave him the sort of look such a comment deserved. His right eye twitched slightly.

"Did you come here just to annoy me or was there another reason?"

Sheldon looked down briefly, smiling his childish smile, then held out the plastic bag.

"I brought you ducks!" he proudly declared.

"What?"

"Ducks!" Sheldon said again in his oddly high-pitched voice, as though it were obvious. He switched into explaining mode. "Whimsical, adhesive ducks to prevent further tub accidents!"

Penny realized she hadn't yet taken the bag. She did so and backed into the apartment, dumping the contents of the bag onto her kitchen counter. Sheldon followed her in.

"Now, it wasn't easy to get these. I purchased mine quite some time ago. The first store was out and the surly clerk in the second store could understand the significance of neither waterfowl nor whimsy." Sheldon rolled his eyes. "However at the third store I was able to find these on my own, as they were quite prominently displayed between the seashell- and frog-themed bathroom decorations."

Penny took a moment to process what Sheldon had said. He went to three different stores, just to get her the same ducks he had protecting him from falling in the tub? She looked at the package on the counter. Sure enough, the ducks had umbrellas.

"Thanks Sheldon. That's very..." 'Sweet' her brain supplied, but she ignored it. Dr. Sheldon Cooper was a lot of things, but certainly not sweet. "Proactive."

This was an unusual word for Penny to choose. Sheldon clearly noticed, but did not say anything about it.

"I see your coherence has marginally improved now that the painkillers have worn off. You've nearly recovered your usual, disappointing command of the English language," Sheldon muttered, making his way toward the door. "I feel satisfied that you are recovering well, so I'll take my leave," he said as he stepped into the hallway.

Penny shut the door and sat down on the couch. So irritating. He just couldn't say anything nice. But wait, was that the Sheldon way of saying he'd been worried and had come to check up on her? She pulled a blanket up over her legs. This was a whole new side to Sheldon. She tucked the thought into the back of her mind and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Project Gorilla: Entry 10. I regret to report that Project Gorilla was unsuccessful. After numerous hours of trying, subject was categorically unable to grasp even the most rudimentary concepts of physics. In the end, I was forced to teach her to repeat a few phrases of moderately scientific language insulting Leonard's work. Although I found this amusing, I am disappointed that I ultimately had to downgrade to Project Parrot."

Smirking, Sheldon thought back to earlier that evening. Penny had dutifully recited the phrases he taught her, entirely ignorant of their meaning. It was charming somehow. Sheldon watched as the words fell from her mouth, feeling an emotion somewhat akin to pride. There was something about the way the words sounded coming from her. Then, of course, she had spoiled it with her asinine comment about snack cookies. Sheldon sighed. Still, this new feeling stayed with him for the rest of the evening, making it difficult to finish his meal. It was odd.

A familiar thumping sound assaulted Sheldon's ears, followed by muffled moans and giggling. Grimacing, Sheldon donned his noise-cancelling headphones. They didn't help. He added a pillow on top of his face. No good. He could still hear with perfect clarity all that was taking place in the room down the hall. Sheldon pulled the sheet up over his head. Still no help.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" He threw off the sheet and started pacing around the room.

"Why is it bothering me so much?' he wondered, standing before his beloved comic book collection. This happened more or less the same way every night. He should have been used to it. But tonight something was different. Sheldon felt…angry. Why should he feel angry?

Why _shouldn't_ he feel angry! Leonard was breaching the Roommate Agreement again by unreasonably interfering with his enjoyment of the premises. That was it. Clearly this anger was simply the aggregation of his reactions to multiple instances of Leonard's flagrant disregard of the terms of the Roommate Agreement. Honestly, sometimes it seemed like he didn't even read it!

A loud cry from Penny rent the air of the apartment. Sheldon gritted his teeth. Fine, two could play at that game. Honestly, it was so simple that he couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to him before. Granted, he had never attempted such a thing, but he was a genius! He could do it.

Sheldon walked to his bedroom door and slowly opened it a crack. Then, returning to sit on the bed, he set about projecting the most desperately erotic noises he could draw out of his throat, which, given his throat singing experience, offered quite a wide range of sounds. Having no frame of reference for what qualified as "erotic" besides what echoed into his bedroom every evening, he attempted to replicate Leonard's noises exactly. However, he was surprised to find that they sounded different coming from him. His stomach tightened and he gripped the sheets beneath him. Suddenly he noticed something: the apartment was now entirely devoid of sound, except for his. Instantly he stopped.

"Mission accomplished," he thought, getting back under the covers.

The next morning over breakfast, Sheldon noticed that neither Leonard nor Penny would meet his eye.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Fixed a little inaccuracy. Also, sorry about the short chapters. I tend to think in short scenes. Hopefully that means I can update more frequently! I'm working towards Leonard and Penny's breakup so things can really get started. Enjoy and review!

Chapter 3

"Sheldon, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm gonna miss you."

Penny really couldn't believe it. Not only had she said it; she had meant it! She was going to miss Sheldon! She did miss Sheldon. The moment he closed the door (the second time), she felt a horrible tugging sensation in her chest and she still felt it now.

She took another sip of wine. Was she crazy? In the last few days Sheldon had caused her to get trapped in a net, insulted her home state, and interrupted her and Leonard in bed by knocking on the window from outside! But he had offered her warm milk and made that awkward video to say goodbye…and no matter what he said, Penny was sure he would miss all of them. At least she hoped so.

Penny pulled her knees up to her chest. She was not going to cry over _Sheldon_. That was ridiculous. Sheldon would laugh at her. She bit her lip. There was a knock at the door.

Gathering her bathrobe around her, Penny dragged herself over to the door and opened it.

Leonard opened his mouth, then shut it, and tilted his head to the side. Uh oh. Penny must have looked like she felt.

"Hey…Penny? Um, I just wanted to let you know that Sheldon's back."

Penny's heart leapt. She resisted the urge to run past Leonard into the apartment across the hall. She tried to keep her face neutral and didn't say anything.

"Okay, so uh I just thought I'd tell you that. Want to keep you in the know, gotta give you the 4-11, or the scoop. Scoop, ha! That's a funny expression." Leonard was backing towards his apartment with his hands clasped together. He nearly ran into the door but turned around just in time.

"Thanks," she called as he shut the door.

Penny ran into her bedroom, threw off her bathrobe and put on a pink tank top and a pair of green shorts. She seized her hairbrush and worked it through her damp hair. In the middle of sweeping on lip gloss she realized what she was doing. She was trying to look good for Sheldon? As if Sheldon would ever notice how she looked! For some reason that bothered Penny. Sliding on a pair of flip flops, she strode over to the apartment.

There was Sheldon, seated at his computer. Predictably, he didn't look up when she came in.

"Thanks for knocking," was all the acknowledgement she got. Penny grimaced.

"Sure thing, buddy. I missed you too," she said sarcastically.

"Please, Penny. I was gone less than a week. Surely even your excessively emotional feminine sensibilities were not roused by such a brief absence," he said dryly, turning to look at her.

That did it. Penny was out of patience.

"_Sarcasm_, Sheldon," she spat.

"Oh! Alright." He actually seemed surprised.

Everything was back to normal. He just couldn't talk without making her mad. Why was she happy to hear he was back?

"Where's Leonard?"

Sheldon turned back to his computer and typed as he spoke. "Leonard went out without specifying his destination."

Typical I-think-I-may-have-pissed-off-my-girlfriend-but-I'm-not-sure-what-I-did behavior for Leonard.

"Okay great, thanks." Penny opened the door.

"Penny."

Bracing herself, Penny turned.

"I imagine that, had I been away for longer, I would have missed you," Sheldon said softly, looking her in the eye.

Penny didn't know how to respond to that. He said it so genuinely. She just smiled and left.


End file.
